24 hours ago I was really drunk at a friend’s holiday party and this guy offered me a job and I said yes and now I am officially (FINALLY) a working writer.
Let me explain: yesterday afternoon, post-brunch and a trip to Michael’s for some craft supplies I decided to take a nap (brunch included many mimosas). During this nap a friend I hadn’t spoken to in a while called. I missed his call, and as is my way, I did not check my voicemail or anything because when I woke up from said nap three hours later I immediately had to get ready for the holiday party and also I don’t like to use my phone on Saturdays.
But this friend of mine, Matt, is also in my wider social circle of friends, so of course when I spotted him at the party, I thought, “oh yeah, he called me earlier!” and yelled out his last name. Then we had this conversation:
Matt: What are you doing the next two weeks?
Me: Writing. Yoga. I have to finish my pilot and turn in a pitch before Christmas but that’s about it.
Matt: Do you want to come write on The Morning After?
Matt: Okay great we’ll see you tomorrow at 1:45pm.
Annnnnd then today I showed up to my new office and we started writing immediately and then we watched TV shows and wrote jokes about TV shows and by 8pm we were taping and I got to watch the hosts read jokes I had written a few hours earlier and it was weird and cool and tomorrow morning you better believe I’m going to be posting the episode here for you all to watch and like and share.
So the moral of this story is that you should always listen to your voicemail because if you don’t then you might accept a job offer at a party when you are already really drunk, like too far past the point of no return, and then you could be really, really hungover on your first day of work.
The Summer Olympics are a grand spectacle of sport. The Winter Olympics are just 48 types of sliding.
SETH MEYERS, Weekend Update (via inothernews)
I LOL’ed at this one last night.
LOL SETH MEYERS. (Actually, I’m one of those people who prefers the Winter Olympics to the Summer Games. Obviously this is because I am from Maine which is like America’s answer to Norway and I grew up skiing, figure skating and sledding, much like our Norwegian brethren.)
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Poop is brown
(unless you ate beets because then your poop might also be red)