My relationship with my mom is really the single most profound relationship that I’ve ever had in my life,” she tells me. “By the way, it seems like I’m … I’m just blowing my nose. It’s not because I’m sad.” She has allergies and a cold, she promises. But her voice breaks when she starts talking about how she sat down with a pen and paper and asked her mother to give her all the advice she could possibly give her before she died, and Kaling realized she’d never be able to ask her mother for advice again. “I said to her, ‘Mom, I’m going to be so lonely without you.’” She’s crying now but keeps going. “And she just said, ‘You have to be your own best friend. If you always remember that, you will always have someone there with you.’

This is Mindy Kaling talking about losing her mom to pancreatic cancer this year. Stage 4 diagnosis, lived for 8 months, just like my own mom. 

I remember when I first saw her tweeting in support of Pancan.org and my first reaction was “ugh” because I knew it meant she was somehow directly affected by it also. (My second reaction was “Thanks girl, you rock.” because obviously it’s amazing to have someone of her caliber raising awareness.) Yesterday it was announced that by 2020, pancreatic cancer will be the second leading cause of cancer death in the US. This blog post has no point, just me feeling the sads for Mindy and for everyone else who’s been there.

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