RE: the above —
I’ve been away from LA for a month, during which time my apartment wasn’t cleaned once until the cleaning lady came the day before I got back (at my prompting, of course — yes, i am that roommate). She usually comes once a month and I usually clean the place once a week on Mondays, because the kitchen doubles as my home office and I’m one of those anal retentive OCD Type A perfectionist sociopaths when it comes to working, so I need my space to be pristine.
Anyway, last week when the place was probably approaching pigsty levels of nastiness (my roommate confessed that our food cupboard had somehow turned into a breeding ground for moths and almost all the food had to be thrown out and they got it clean in time so they wouldn’t have to tell me, but was telling me anyway), my roommate Mandy filed a maintenance request to have our shower drain fixed. It wasn’t working. This happens because you know, two girls sharing a shower equals major cloggage. It’s kind of gross but I’m one of those people who has no problem reaching into a garbage disposal so I’ll be frank: Girls leave a lot of build-up int he shower. Girls shed hair and use lots of product and shave their legs and because we live by the beach there’s almost always sand — well if you aren’t good about cleaning the drain yourself after every time you shower, clogging is inevitable. Facts of being a girl. Chicks, man.
Anyway, the cleaning lady came the day after the maintenance request for the drain was filed because we had coincidentally scheduled her for then, not knowing we’d have drain issues and be filing maintenance requests. And what Mandy didn’t realize was that apparently, the fix for the drain was to clean it. Because when I got home, this place was spic and span and the only problem I had was jet lag.
I didn’t notice anything wrong with the drain but Mandy was telling me the plumber was coming to fix it — and of course I’d even used our shower at that point and it was fine, so I assumed her persistence was some other drain in the apartment like a dummy I am sometimes — so finally we were told the plumber would be coming sometime between 9am and 12pm today. I planned my day around this because those sorts of windows are ALWAYS correct hahahaha NOT but I made sure to be home then and fortunately I was still home when he showed up two hours later, at 2pm.
So when the plumber (who was kind of cute but not my type but I wasn’t sure and also I was trying to figure out if we really had chemistry or if I had just taken too much of my Adderall today) told me that there didn’t appear to be anything wrong, I called Mandy to be like, hello hi what is up why is the problem here everything is fine, and then she was like, oh, the cleaning lady must have handled it. The drain just needed to be cleaned.
Which begs the question:
Um, ew, how dirty did this place get if lack of cleanliness was mistaken as a maintenance issue????
Okay, so anyway I wasn’t explaining all this to be passive aggressive about my roommates, or bemoan my living situation because like yeah, it’s HARD making compromises in your own house and household shit can be annoying as hell and it does suck sometimes to be thirty and live with THREE OTHER PEOPLE and I really thought I would be like, TV writer rich and famous by now, but at the same time it’s ridiculous and my problems are such small potatoes — Anyway, I finally go to ask my roommate the question of the hour, but really, it was all to use that great chain of emojis I just invited. Do you think one day there will be an Emoji dictionary? Will we speak in emoji?
Anyway! HOW GOOD IS THAT SEQUENCE!!!????? An SOS, three piggies (one for each roommate) And a house…. it’s a pigsty! HAHAHA. Man, I love emojis.